Midweek Rant #2: Coffee Mugs

It finally doesn’t suck to be a Green Coffee Drinker!

How awesome is it to drink coffee out of a paper cup?  Sometimes I think people that are trying to “Green” the world have no idea what they are doing.  I can’t think of a better example than Thermal Coffee Mugs.

I hesitate to call them mugs.  I’m not much of a football player, but every time I grab one of these things I feel like telling the closest person to go long.  The center of gravity has been optimized for knock-over-ability.  It’s hard to even put one on a flat surface.  Even if you’re successful, the amount of tension in your neck that accumulates from the impending spill requires at least a ten-minute massage to alleviate.  To make matters worse, a lot of them have added handles, which make the center of gravity outright cartoonish.  I could understand if the top was spill proof, but don’t let any claims made by the manufacturers fool you, you’re going to be spilling some coffee.  There’s only one possible explanation for the shape, and that is to accommodate for the cupholders you find in cars.  Well, shit, it hasn’t stopped people from buying 44-ounce sodas!

What irritates me more than anything about how inept these companies are is that they’re competing with a giant.  Paper cups are just so damn delicious to drink coffee out of.  And what has more nostalgia attached to it than coffee?  Holy crap, I don’t think I’d even have friends if it weren’t for coffee.  Since I first got hooked, it’s been with me for so many important occasions in life.  And given the fact that most places don’t even bother with ceramic mugs, all these occasions have been environmentally disastrous.  But shit, at least I didn’t have to worry about it getting knocked over all the time.

Finally the good people at MiGo have come to their senses and come out with what I call a “Cheersing Mug”.  I’d bring this thing to a keg party.  A fantastic shape, solid handle, and a lifetime warranty.  15 bucks at Target.

I like this thing so much that when I forgot it the other day and had to drink out of a paper cup, it really bothered me.

Go get one and Cheers the mother fucker.

 

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Finally, a mug that respects gravity...

 

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